


Blame it on my OTP

by cybergirl614, MAPMonstersArePerceptions



Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - Fandom, Sentinel - Fandom, Supernatural, Warehouse 13, multifandom
Genre: AWOLnation parody, Awkward Dean, Awkward Flirting, Collaboration, Crack Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Destiel - Freeform, Drarry, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, Sail Parody, Shipping, Silly, Slash, Song Parody, Veela Draco, crazy Missy, fandom humor, scifi multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 18:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4273485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybergirl614/pseuds/cybergirl614, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MAPMonstersArePerceptions/pseuds/MAPMonstersArePerceptions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas end up in the unlikeliest of places, an OTP support group called OTPs Anonymous while on a case.   Before it even begins Dean really just wants to leave. Things go from bad to worse when the Mistress starts singing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame it on my OTP

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a short shipping parody of Sail by AWOLnation, and MAPMonstersarePerceptions, who is my beta, read it and thought it needed more. She suggested writing something funny to go with it and working the parody in. Then we started bouncing ideas around, and suddenly we had a story going. I love crossovers and references and humor and puns so if this is insane in that respect, my apologies. I hope it's fun-insane, though.

Dean and Castiel sat beside each other in the uncomfortable folding chairs. Dean took turns between returning Cas’ stare and making pained, awkward faces at him, as if doing so would make the situation any less decidedly curl-up-in-a-corner-and-die horrible.

Castiel sighed, his lips flickering in the barest hint of a smile at Dean as he returned the looks with one steady stare.

The group of people, mostly men, but some women as well, sitting in the uncomfortable chairs in the suffocating circle all turned towards the podium as a woman there with long, wavy dark hair cleared her throat.

“Hello, and welcome to OTPs Anonymous,” She declared. “I’m Myka.”

“Hello Myka,” the group rumbled out in its collective voice.

When they paused, Myka continued. “I’ll be leading our meeting for tonight. Who would like to begin introductions?”

“I suppose I might as well,” a nervous-looking pale man with silvery blond hair said.

“Hello, I’m Draco,” he said.

“Hello, Draco,” the group rumbled.

Dean bumped Cas with his elbow while the group extolled their obligatory greeting. Under the drawn out sounds of collective speech, Dean hissed in Castiel’s ear, “Dude, that’s him.”

Castiel nodded subtly, never taking his eyes off Draco.

“I’m unfortunately party to a conflicted OTP.”

The man sitting beside him, with dark hair and piercing green eyes behind round glasses spoke next.

“Hello, everyone, I’m Harry,”

“Hello Harry.”

“And I’m a member of a conflicted OTP.”

 

“That’s good,” Myka offered. “First nights can be difficult. Are either of your partners present? Many find it helpful for the other member or members of their pairing to attend with them if possible.”

 

Draco and Harry looked at each other uncomfortably, Harry’s face turning a red that contrasted the green of his shirt, which matched his eyes, so sharply he was beginning to look vaguely Christmas-y.

“We’re, erm,” Harry began.

“Yes, that is to say,” Draco continued, looking positively queasy. “We are , ah, in the same pairing.”

 

“Oh! Well, that’s good, actually,” Myka said a little too quickly, nodding as if it would cover up whatever discomfort she experienced at the halting revelation. “That, that really is good. We recommend both or as many partners as possible attend to help with conflict management and so forth.”

“So, who’s next?”

A slight man in colorful clothing with long, curly hair, who looked almost as uncomfortable as Harry and Draco spoke up.

“Hi, I’m Blair,” he said awkwardly.

“Hello, Blair.”

“And I’m part of an OTP.”

“Hey, everyone, I’m Jim,” a tall, thickly muscled man in the next seat spoke up.

“Hello, Jim.”

“And I’m in an OTP.” He scrubbed a hand over his buzz cut as if scratching his head would somehow distract him from the situation.

 

“Very good,” Myka nodded, her smile lapsing into a self-conscious frown. “I think since there are quite a few new faces here tonight we will discuss the goals and other such measures after we are finished with introductions.”

Jim looked quite relieved at this.

“Hello, I’m Helena,” the next person in the circle said, a tall woman with a British accent and piercing dark eyes and long dark hair.

“Hi, Helena.”

“And I am member of an OTP.”

Dean noticed that Myka smiled faintly at Helena. He looked at Cas again, quirking a small smile as he nodded not-so-subtly at Helena and then at Myka, before following up his nonverbal communication with a whispered, “Look, dude, I bet you they’re together. They’re both so hot!”

Castiel didn’t deign to reply, instead silently shaking his head at Dean with a nonplussed frown. Dean watched him raptly, however, and detected a telltale quiver around Cas’ eyes that denoted suppressed laughter. Dean knew exactly how to crack him up, even if Cas almost never showed it. And that gave Dean no small measure of satisfaction.

Dean looked up, suddenly terrified as he realized the rest of the room was staring at him.

“Oh, uh…” he began lamely, clearing his throat. “I’m Dean.”

“Hello, Dean.”

“And I’m in an OTP.” He finished his introduction with a self-assured swagger in his voice that none of the other members had yet matched. That realization made him sit just a little taller.

“Hello, I am Castiel.” It was Cas’ turn now, and by the look of it he was playing it cool, not that it would have been difficult for anyone else to seem to play it cool in contrast to Dean’s snafu.

“Hello Castiel.”

“And I am in an OTP.” Castiel smiled at Dean, who frowned in return, making a shooing motion with his hand to try to get Cas to look anywhere else just then. Because as funny as it was watching others squirm, Dean did not want to be on the receiving end of it just now. Especially since they were here on a case, and attracting undue attention was not going to work in their favor.

The rest of the group introduced themselves in the same brain-numbingly rote fashion, which left Dean plenty of time to imagine what Helena would look like with less clothing on. Pretty damn good, he figured.

“Alright, now that introductions are finished, I will explain a bit about what our group does. We are of course, OTPs Anonymous, that is, for those of you who might be new, OTP stands for ‘One True Pairing.’ We are here as a resource and support group for individuals who experience difficulties due to or in some manner related to shipping. I have been a member for several years, and this group has been invaluable to my partner and I.”

Helena nodded approvingly.

“If anyone would like to share their story, they are welcome to.”

Draco raised his hand tentatively.

“Draco, if you will.”

“Yes, ah….where to begin.” The man said nervously.

“Harry and I have been 'shipped,' forced together by an altogether ludicrous set of circumstances. He and I are opposite in every way. Yet..” Draco paused, swallowing audibly, “I am Veela.”

Dean exchanged looks with Castiel, suspicion forming in his face although he couldn’t verbalize it. Why was the Veela telling everybody what he was? This wasn’t exactly normal monster behavior…

“And because of this, it is part of my biology that I have a life mate, a soul mate, if you will, who is essentially fated for me. “ Draco paused again. “However, biology fails to recognize several crucial aspects. My life mate does not love me, nor I him, yet we have been forced together by circumstance, in a most uncomfortable manner. It has further caused us much difficulty as my family refuses to accept him, as he is not a wizard of pureblood descent.”

 

Dean just managed to keep his mouth from dropping open. A wizard, a Veela, an angel, and Dean in the same room, at a horrible meeting. It was still early in the evening, and already this was shaping up to look like a bad joke.

“And not for want of trying, but I cannot tolerate him. Yet because of my biology, I cannot survive without him. We have both been at our wits’ end until we heard of this group. I am certainly hoping that it will leave us with some inkling of how to manage our situation.”

 

“Very good, Draco,” Myka nodded. “I hope you will find our methods helpful. Many have.”  
Draco sighed, looking exhausted.

“Harry, do you have anything to say?” Myka prompted.

“Erm, no, not really, nothing much to add.” Harry stammered.

“Alright.”

“So, Blair, anything you’d like to add?”

“Uhm, no, thanks. I’d just like to sit back and watch a little, get the feel for the group if that’s OK,” Blair replied good-naturedly.

“Good. Jim?”

“Uh…”


End file.
